The countdown begins...

In the month where I’ve turned 41 I’m preparing for one of the biggest shifts in my life. I have a few working days left until I finish my 19 year career in the corporate world working in People (HR) teams. 

During the past 6 years I’ve been working at a purpose-led business and have been challenged with interesting and impactful projects, worked at a high-pace, and have been given the opportunity to widen my experience and role. I feel very privileged to have been part of a high-performing, best-in-class People team shaping a unique company culture and working life. Working part-time after returning from maternity leave and being in a phenomenal job share was a real highlight, and a gift. The experience of working in a small business growing 40% year on year and being part of one of the UK’s founding BCorps, has been an amazing chapter of my life and one I will never forget. It’s been a dream job in a company I’ve adored, and it’s somewhere I’ve thrived and been the most me in a job.

For most of my career I’ve loved what I’ve done and the people I’ve worked with. Over the years I’ve built my own diverse set of skills alongside my job, through self-driven projects and widening my skill set through personal study to create a portfolio career. It’s now time to do something different, use my untapped skills, and run my own business. 

As I updated my LinkedIn profile to Founder and Director of Frondescence, and registered my company this week, it finally felt I had taken a pivotal step forwards. It felt ok to start to tentatively talk more about my next steps with my colleagues. My heart swelled with pride, excitement and gratitude as I shared a few snippets about my next adventure and I knew in my heart I’m heading into a new chapter of life where I will be happy. I have the rare opportunity to make a new start, one which I can create under my own terms, and one where I can combine what I’m most passionate about.

The countdown to finishing my job is in touching distance. This week I headed into the office for two of the three days of my work week to appreciate the final few opportunities to be in the office with my colleagues. We celebrated my birthday as a team, shared a delicious lunch, and I managed to connect with lots of my colleagues for cups of tea and walks.

The leaving rituals and rhythms started early but they were what I felt I needed to get sorted and completed before my final week. I tidied and cleared my desk, emptied my drawers, and managed to file away emails so my inbox was down to just a handful of emails acting as reminders. I checked my diary for next week, organised a few extra catch ups with colleagues, and savoured the final moments of planning ahead in my work diary. I put my ‘normal’ out of office on for the last time, and at the end of Wednesday I started saying a few goodbyes to people who wont be in the office next week when I finish. 

At the start of the year I wrote down how I wanted to feel when I left, and all the things I wanted to do before heading off. Most of the priority list has been achieved and things are aligning in a way I thought they may do and I had hoped for. I created a toolkit to use during my notice period for when days felt tough, and for when I needed guidance to get grounded again. I dipped into this a few times this week but with a different focus than before.

During the past month a mixture of feelings have been starting to swirl as I head into the final countdown of working a 3 month notice period and leaving a business due to redundancy. I’ve held both the feelings of relief and sadness at once, alongside so many other opposites, it has been emotionally and mentally draining at times.

I noticed a turning point a few weeks ago when I felt I was managing to stay in the present moment for most of the day rather than getting absorbed in thinking about my future plans. It has felt nourishing and grounding as I trusted my intuition and knew I’d made the right decision, and I think it prompted the setting up of my company with Companies House and updating my LinkedIn. I noticed at the same time I gained a deeper clarity around my business vision, a knowing and trust in myself, and a fizzy feeling of excitement about what I’m creating.

I feel I’ve tapped into a new level of energy and positivity which I wanted to connect with before finishing my job. It’s this energy I hope will keep me moving forwards and building momentum.

Leaving a job and company you love feels in many ways like a break up, and feelings of loss and grief have surfaced many times in the past five months since we found out about the restructure in our team. This weekend I knew I needed to pre-empt things and proactively top up my energy reserves as much as possible doing things I love. I know being out in nature is the one thing which helps me the most and a weekend spent outdoors was what I needed.

I spent time in the garden enjoying the fresh air and tending our small urban garden. I’ve replanted our window boxes, tidied up containers, reseeded parts of our lawn, topped up the bird feeder, checked on my seeds growing in the greenhouse and made sure I’ve done a bit of watering and mulching.

I’ve taken time to look at what is growing in our garden and really appreciate the garden waking up. The tulips fill the raised beds and containers, the pops of colour make the garden feel joyful. The alliums and chives have grown in the past week and flower buds are forming. The peony plants have, for the first time, become really established and their foliage and flower buds are growing well.

As I was potting up my refreshed window boxes I thought back to the week in December where I planted the 300 new bulbs I’d bought, planting them knowing that by this time of the year I’d be finishing work and would want something joyful to look at and tend. I really appreciate past me for looking after the future me and knowing exactly what I’d need. 

Beyond spending time in our garden I caught up with a dear friend and we headed to the local National Trust house and gardens, Tyntesfield, making the most of a rare child free walk and lunch. Tulips filled the gardens and bluebells were spotted in the woodlands.

There was a new moon this week and during the gardening this weekend I started thinking about my intentions for this next lunar cycle. An Aries new moon, aligned with my star sign, feels like a special energy and a moment perfectly aligned with starting a new chapter and a new adventure.

And so the countdown begins. I have three days left.

I’ll let you know how I get on.