Life at the moment :: Musings from February and March

It has taken until this week to feel ready to write...how can I explain this most recent break from this space?...I thought best by telling you a few updates from me...Part of my own mindful practice is to appreciate what I have been doing each month, to document life where I can through photos to capture my memories, and to reflect on my thoughts and feelings through my 'life at the moment' musings. The past few months have seen some lows and big highs and I've needed a break from the digital space...I'm taking a step forwards to being back here to share my updates with you today. Life at the moment has been about... Welcoming...our newest member to our family, say hello to our beautiful puppy Juno...she joined us at the end of January and is settling in so well, growing so quickly, filling our life with new routines, change, patience and so much learning. Mr C grew up on a farm with a Jack Russell in his life and now we have one in our own...

Mr C, Juno and me Handling...the news in early February that my specialist job role of 11 years was being made redundant within another team restructure, the fourth restructure in three years...and now my last. I've learnt so much about myself, my personal values and about business during the redundancy and restructure processes that I've experienced.

Navigating...the world of redundancy...the mixtures of feelings, the huge ups and downs, the feelings associated with uncertainty, the real and deep moments of worry and anxiety, the huge downs in my mood whilst dealing with my own self-doubt, through to the feelings of elation associated with the gift of a new opportunity and knowing what I really want to be doing day to day.

Needing...time out over the past few months to hibernate away, to think, to make plans and to have hugs with Mr C and cuddles with Juno.

Preparing...my CV for job applications, and my mindset for job interviews.

Reflecting...on what I've experienced working for the same company for 11 years, the friends, the connections, the learnings, the challenges and the changes. I've been reflecting and feeling so very grateful for the lessons of business learnt through the years. I know what good looks like, I know how important knowledge and experience is to shaping how things work, I can see how leadership changes impact on a company culture and how business is done.

Reframing...the feelings and thoughts I had surrounding redundancy and my own skill set. From early on for the majority of the time in this past few months I have felt that redundancy equals positive change and a brilliant opportunity.

Trusting...my heart, my intuition and myself wholly to make the best decision.

Knowing...it is ok to say no. No to the job offer of a reshaped role and staying in the same company, and a 'not quite yet' to self-employment.

Listening...to my favourite uplifting tunes...there has been less of a focus on podcasts over the few months as my mind needed to focus on my changes and to have space to contemplate and think.

Travelling...with forward momentum in my mind and with my plans, taking each day as it comes, and riding the waves of up and down feelings.

Flowers

Buying...myself special flowers from a gorgeous flower stall I pass every day on the afternoon I found out my job was being made redundant. In my mind I needed to celebrate change and have something to look at to enjoy and lift my mood and distract me from the feelings of uncertainty. Selecting some of elements of the bunch that were part of my wedding bouquet made me smile.

Being...kind to myself on days when I felt really low and was battling with anxiety. Being brave and bold at moments when I needed to trust and believe in myself.

Filling...my notebook with thoughts, ideas, lists, and interview preparation notes. There's something wonderful about having a colourful journal to get inspired.

Understanding...the importance I put on my personal values at times of change in my life and times of uncertainty. For many years this space here has been about cultivating and living a creative and wholesome life through the seasons, I know in my heart that this forms a huge part of who I am. My personal values have enabled me to focus on how I want to shape my life moving forwards.

Feeling...self doubt in many areas of life...my creativity, my feelings about my job and my career plans, and doubt over my book concept and getting my book written.

Dealing...with a loss of my creativity, writers block and a lack of passion for the things that lift me up. Acknowledging the feelings and being kind to myself. I've given myself the time to process and let it go, knowing that my creativity and drive will be back when I am ready to start again. It has taken until now with a new job contract signed and the end in sight of my job change (just 5 working days left in my current job!) to want to be back here and to share.

Thrive

Reminding...myself of what I've become, the achievements in my life so far, and reminding myself of the depth and wealth of experience I have that I draw upon.

Thanking...my intuition and my desire and passion for learning. I feel thankful for choosing to create a portfolio career and grow a breadth of interests and skills and to 'Future proof' myself for any change.

Celebrating...being headhunted for a new job and being offered it. It feels like the stars are aligning in so many ways. My new job is very similar to my last but it is in a company that is growing and fuses so very closely to my interests, my personal values and resonates so much with me and what I can bring. I sometimes can't believe it is really happening! Redundancy and navigating the change has been so incredibly positive for me, I feel very lucky to have been offered a new job that is a perfect match beyond anything I had hoped for.

Shaping...a new routine and a lifestyle with Juno in our life...hello 6am seven days a week.

Daffodils